Adoption, Life, Parenting

He didn’t have a clue.


This man you see here in this picture had NO CLUE! He had no idea what God had in store for him when he said yes to being my Dad. No clue that this little girl in this picture was so broken, it would take the next 30 years to even start seeing any signs of absolute healing. Let’s just say that my parents didn’t get the angel they prayed for. He didn’t know that for the next few decades they would just be praying that their little girl would be ok. I’m sure year after year their expectations became lower and lower as to what “ok” meant. I gave them utter hell y’all. I was not the dream child that they had hoped and prayed for. I know this.

We have been through some deep dark valleys, but none that God didn’t see us through. God was walking with my Dad when I couldn’t receive or reciprocate love. He was with my Dad when he was having to console my Mom after I disappointed, hurt and lashed out.

I mean…he just wanted to be a Dad. They were trying and couldn’t have a baby. So, God gave them me. I’m sure they thought they got punk’d and was ready for the joke to end. (It did…they finally got Kara and Misti haha) Seriously though, he just wanted to be my Dad. The Dad who WOULDN’T beat me. The Dad who wouldn’t abuse me and say it was love. The Dad who wouldn’t abandon me, no matter how many times I pushed him away. He just wanted to provide the best he could for me. To create a life and a home that put God first. To be the priest of our household that would show us Christ and lead us to Him, because he knows that Jesus is the only place where my true peace was.215933_1977351962294_1812669_n

Thank you for showing me Jesus through the kind of DAD you were. You prayed for me until I truly gave my life to God. You kept coming back after each rejection. You loved me until I could love you back. You showed me Jesus, so I could show others.

Dad, you call me one of your greatest miracles. I call you MINE.

I love you.


Tragedy on Park Ave.


The news about Kate Spade’s apparent suicide this morning has haunted me all day long. As I was washing the dishes, running errands, walking through Wal-Mart. I kept thinking of how hopeless and desperate she must have felt to commit suicide. I don’t know anything about her life or what might have caused her to come to that fateful decision. I just wish someone could have reached her and let her know that there was HOPE.

If you are feeling desperate, hopeless and don’t think that life is worth living, let me show you that you are worth so much and that you have so much to live for.

I have had many moments of failure in my life. Poor decisions that left me ashamed and thinking that I just would rather crawl in a hole, rather than face the reality of what I had done. My Dad would look at me and say “This too shall pass.” He was right. It might have been rough going for a little bit as the consequences were dealt with, but soon, life was on track again. Not without the Grace of Jesus Christ though. Without Jesus, I would still be feeling worthless and hopeless.

You say, but Judy, you don’t know what’s going on. It just would be better for everyone if I was not around. They wouldn’t be hurt by me anymore, they wouldn’t have to deal with me and my screw ups anymore and most of all I won’t have to deal anymore. My friend, that’s a LIE from the devil. Don’t believe the lie. I’ve been there before…I’ve been told that before. I’ve been made to feel that way before. It’s NOT TRUE!

The Bible says in John 3:16 New Living Translation
“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.”
Nothing hokey or complicate about it. Just believe in Him! Believe that He died for your sins. That’s it! He will work out the rest.

The devil wants you to feel like it is all so complicated, so you will get caught up in the web of lies that you are just too bad or not good enough. That the above scripture surely can’t mean you and your bad self. WRONG! Read this:

Romans 8:1 New Living Translation
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

and this…

John 10:10 Amplified Bible (AMP)
10 The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].

When it’s all just too much, grab onto Matthew 11:28-30 (Message Bible) “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

It’s not hard or complicated, like the enemy wants you to believe. Jesus is ready and waiting with open arms. Please, please, please…try one more time. This time, reach out to a friend, a family member…shoot…reach out to ME if you need to. I will not judge, but I will point you to the Truth. Just DON’T GIVE UP! Don’t let the enemy win!

This life isn’t perfect, but it IS worth living. He’s already paid the price.
This too shall pass. I promise.

Here are a couple of resources for help.
Get free help now: Text CONNECT to 741741 in the United States.

If you need to talk to someone right away, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255