I’m sorry I bled on you.

Happy New Year!!

A new year signifies a clean slate, new beginnings, new habits. Let’s start 2019 by giving God complete control, so He can heal our hearts and wounded places inside of us so we stop bleeding on people who didn’t cut us.

It was a regular Friday night and I am scrolling through Facebook, minding my own business, when this quote jumped out at me and has been hanging around my heart and mind ever since. “If you never heal from what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you.” Wow! That was me… Before…

You see, I was bleeding out for over 30 years…all over people that didn’t cut me and some that actually did. But somewhere along the way, God prepared me to begin the healing path that He has had me on for over a decade now. My desire is for everyone to take a long look inside and start the healing process in 2019. The Bible says in PSALM 55:22 (AMP) Cast your burden on the LORD [release it] and He will sustain and uphold you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken (slip, fall, fail).

We all have those broken places in us that when touched, we recoil or lash out from past hurts, rejections, failures, feelings of inadequacy or poor choices. We tend to want to cover those places up, hoping nobody notices the deep gashes that we sustained as a result of our poor choices or someone else’s. Those are the exact areas God wants to uncover and heal. He wants to use those places in us to help others that are dealing with those same things. We just have to be willing to let the facade of “Everything’s fine”, “My marriage is so perfect”, “Peachy keen over here”, just look at my Facebook and Instagram…that’ll prove it….yeah, that facade…it has to GO in 2019. Aren’t you tired of the struggle? Tired of new relationships? Tired of lying to yourself and others about how happy you are? Tired of “bleeding” on those that didn’t cut you?

It’s time we stop looking to the new hobby, the new significant other, the new car, new friend, the new house, food or the newest gadget to make us happy, feel successful or worthy.

In order to identify the places that need to be healed… You have to look inside and be very honest with yourself. Why do you embellish the truth sometimes, why do you put others down, why do you make light of other’s accomplishments, why do you keep leaving relationships before they leave you, why do you have to have the best of everything, why can’t you ever say you’re sorry? I could go on and on. Most likely the answer can be found in the wounded places that you haven’t uncovered and given fully to the only one who can heal it. Jesus. PSALM 34:18 (AMP) The LORD is near to the heartbroken And He saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Let’s stop the bleeding. It’s time. Don’t let 2019 go by without dealing with those hard things. It’s not fun, but it is so worth it. Ask God to come close and show you an area that you can give to Him and let Him heal you. He will show you who you are to Him. Then other’s opinions will matter less and less. He will fill that place in you that you keep trying to fill with food, men, women, substances, money or possessions. He will give you compassion in place of judgment, contentment in place of disappointment. Unexplainable peace, when the world says you shouldn’t have any, confidence instead of worry. Nothing will ever satisfy those places in you because it is only His to fill.

Don’t worry. You can trust Him. I’ve only known Him to be faithful. He is good. He IS ENOUGH.

2019 CAN be different.

It’s time.

Adoption, Life, Parenting

He didn’t have a clue.


This man you see here in this picture had NO CLUE! He had no idea what God had in store for him when he said yes to being my Dad. No clue that this little girl in this picture was so broken, it would take the next 30 years to even start seeing any signs of absolute healing. Let’s just say that my parents didn’t get the angel they prayed for. He didn’t know that for the next few decades they would just be praying that their little girl would be ok. I’m sure year after year their expectations became lower and lower as to what “ok” meant. I gave them utter hell y’all. I was not the dream child that they had hoped and prayed for. I know this.

We have been through some deep dark valleys, but none that God didn’t see us through. God was walking with my Dad when I couldn’t receive or reciprocate love. He was with my Dad when he was having to console my Mom after I disappointed, hurt and lashed out.

I mean…he just wanted to be a Dad. They were trying and couldn’t have a baby. So, God gave them me. I’m sure they thought they got punk’d and was ready for the joke to end. (It did…they finally got Kara and Misti haha) Seriously though, he just wanted to be my Dad. The Dad who WOULDN’T beat me. The Dad who wouldn’t abuse me and say it was love. The Dad who wouldn’t abandon me, no matter how many times I pushed him away. He just wanted to provide the best he could for me. To create a life and a home that put God first. To be the priest of our household that would show us Christ and lead us to Him, because he knows that Jesus is the only place where my true peace was.215933_1977351962294_1812669_n

Thank you for showing me Jesus through the kind of DAD you were. You prayed for me until I truly gave my life to God. You kept coming back after each rejection. You loved me until I could love you back. You showed me Jesus, so I could show others.

Dad, you call me one of your greatest miracles. I call you MINE.

I love you.


Tragedy on Park Ave.


The news about Kate Spade’s apparent suicide this morning has haunted me all day long. As I was washing the dishes, running errands, walking through Wal-Mart. I kept thinking of how hopeless and desperate she must have felt to commit suicide. I don’t know anything about her life or what might have caused her to come to that fateful decision. I just wish someone could have reached her and let her know that there was HOPE.

If you are feeling desperate, hopeless and don’t think that life is worth living, let me show you that you are worth so much and that you have so much to live for.

I have had many moments of failure in my life. Poor decisions that left me ashamed and thinking that I just would rather crawl in a hole, rather than face the reality of what I had done. My Dad would look at me and say “This too shall pass.” He was right. It might have been rough going for a little bit as the consequences were dealt with, but soon, life was on track again. Not without the Grace of Jesus Christ though. Without Jesus, I would still be feeling worthless and hopeless.

You say, but Judy, you don’t know what’s going on. It just would be better for everyone if I was not around. They wouldn’t be hurt by me anymore, they wouldn’t have to deal with me and my screw ups anymore and most of all I won’t have to deal anymore. My friend, that’s a LIE from the devil. Don’t believe the lie. I’ve been there before…I’ve been told that before. I’ve been made to feel that way before. It’s NOT TRUE!

The Bible says in John 3:16 New Living Translation
“For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.”
Nothing hokey or complicate about it. Just believe in Him! Believe that He died for your sins. That’s it! He will work out the rest.

The devil wants you to feel like it is all so complicated, so you will get caught up in the web of lies that you are just too bad or not good enough. That the above scripture surely can’t mean you and your bad self. WRONG! Read this:

Romans 8:1 New Living Translation
So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.

and this…

John 10:10 Amplified Bible (AMP)
10 The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].

When it’s all just too much, grab onto Matthew 11:28-30 (Message Bible) “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

It’s not hard or complicated, like the enemy wants you to believe. Jesus is ready and waiting with open arms. Please, please, please…try one more time. This time, reach out to a friend, a family member…shoot…reach out to ME if you need to. I will not judge, but I will point you to the Truth. Just DON’T GIVE UP! Don’t let the enemy win!

This life isn’t perfect, but it IS worth living. He’s already paid the price.
This too shall pass. I promise.

Here are a couple of resources for help.
Get free help now: Text CONNECT to 741741 in the United States.

If you need to talk to someone right away, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

Books, Life

My book review of Eat Cake. Be Brave. by Melissa Radke

I was able to read an advance copy of this book as part of her book launch team. It is available for pre-order now, but it isn’t available for purchase until July 17th. Read my review and the others. You will want this book for yourself, your cousin, your sister, your Mama, your best friend and her Mama too! I wouldn’t steer you wrong. I will definitely be getting the audible version of this too on July 17th, because Melissa reads this herself on the audio version….and I can’t wait to hear her tell it, besides in my own head.
Order yours today!
#ECBB #ECBBlaunchteam #melissaradke #eatcakebebrave

Eat Cake. Be Brave.

Eat Cake. Be Brave. by Melissa Radke

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This book was the whole enchilada. “Eat Cake Be Brave” will make you laugh, because she is a master at being painfully real. You will see yourself, whether you want to or not, in so many chapters. It will make you cringe because maybe you have been the person that she speaks of that was hurt or maybe because you were the person who has hurt others. ((hand raised)) You will cry because you will feel the pain that she went through, even if you have never experienced exactly what she is describing. So many times throughout the book, I just wanted to hop in my car and drive to Lufkin, TX and give her a big ol’ hug! It will challenge you to be a better version of yourself. She doesn’t pull any punches here. She is raw, real and honest about how she dealt with real-life relationship issues, rejections and, poor decisions. Through it all though, there was a plan to bring it all around to do some good. This book is part of it. So many have been helped by her sharing what God has brought her through already. The way she shares Jesus is so special. He is accessible, loving, kind, gentle and dependable. If you don’t know Him…you will want to after reading about His faithfulness in this book.